His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
