I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
