I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I fill condoms, not promises.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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