Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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