OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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