I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
