problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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