In the future we'll all be gay
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
