you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Life is so much better after having sex.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
