My first STD was from a foam party
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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