yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
