He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
