Whod you bang
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
