so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
