Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
