I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
there is glitter all over my balls
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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