I wanna bring you to show and tell
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
