last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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