I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
