so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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