my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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