I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
