My first STD was from a foam party
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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