If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
