Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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