Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
