You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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