If that was your dad, he is hot
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
