What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
3pm strippers are depressing
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
