Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
