YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
