Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
