Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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