gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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