Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
