Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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