Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The uberlube is also flammable
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh god it's open bar.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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