You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
