Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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