just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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