You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
