I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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