You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
