I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
