Its about making memories worth repressing
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
