i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
