then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
