Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
