He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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