Dual....:-)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
