Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Every concussion has its silver lining
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
